Between Two Tables

Unum tamen dico, ut occasionem vobis dedisse videar, et caetera quoque similiter advertatis. Nonne velut inter duas mensas positi, epulantes hinc inde spectamus jejuni? Sic sumus omnino, sic sumus. Unde ergo sic positis risus, unde jocus, unde levitas, unde superbia, unde extollentia oculorum? An forte non agnoscimus mensas, non consideramus epulas, delicias non videmus? Hinc mihi sunt, quos video deliciose viventes in omnibus bonis sensibilis hujus mundi, inde contemplor alios, quibus disposuit Christus regnum, ut edant et bibant super mensam ejus in regno Patris sui. Utrobique video similes mei homines, fratres meos; et, heu me! ad neutram licet extendere manum. Ab utraque mensa prohibeor: ab hac quidem professionis, ab illa corporis vinculo; ut nec ad inferiorem audeam, nec ad superiorem accedere possim. Quid inter haec restat, nisi comedere panem doloris, ut sint mihi lacrymae meae panes die ac nocte, si quis forte coelestium convivarum misericordia motus, in os latrantis sub mensa catelli vel exigua aliqua deliciarum illarum fragmenta demittat? Nam inferior quidem consideratio, qua nobis ipsis compatimur, eorum respectu, quos novimus deliciose viventes in hoc saeculo, infirmae adhuc animae est, nec omnino talis mihi placet affectio in anima spirituali. Longius enim positus est a judicio veritatis, qui beatificat quos velut miserrimos lugere debuerat, qui peccant et non agunt poenitentiam: et se miserum reputat non sane consensu judicii, sed affectionis sensu, quod non sit sicut illi, qui id magis optare debuerant, ut omnes essent sicut ipse. Sanctus Bernardus Clarae Vallensis, Sermones De Diversis, Sermo XXXIX, In labore messis: De duabus mensis, seu de superiori et inferiori irriguo. Source: Migne PL 183.646a-646c

I will say one thing to you however, so that I shall appear to have given you an example , and other things likewise I will advert to. Is it not that we are as placed between two tables, seeing feasting here and fasting there? So we are indeed, so we are. And being so placed how can there be smiles, laughter, levity, pride and a raising up of the eyes? But perhaps we do not know the tables, we do not look on those who feast, we do not see the joys? Here to me they are who I see living happily on all the material goods of this world, and there I contemplate others, to whom Christ has given the kingdom, that they eat and drink at His table in the kingdom of His Father. 1 And on both sides I see men like me, my brothers, and alas for me, for I cannot stretch my hand to either side. I am forbidden both tables, the former because of my vows, the latter because of the chains of the body, and so I do not dare seek the lower, nor can I draw near the higher. And what is it to be between these two tables, unless to eat the bread of grief, so that my tears are my bread night and day, 2 though perhaps someone among the heavenly feasters, moved by compassion, might drop down beneath the table some small crumb of their joys into the whining mouth of a pup? For certainly that lower consideration, that we suffer with them, in their sight, whom we know are living pleasurably in this world, is yet for the weak soul, and such affection does not please my spiritual soul. For he is placed far from the judgement of truth who deems them blessed who he should weep over as most wretched, they who sin and do not become pentinent, and he does not deem himself wretched with an accurate judgement but by a sense of affection, because he should not be as they are, they who rather should desire what is greater, that all should be like him. Saint Bernard of Clairvaux, Various Sermons, from Sermon 39, On the labour of the harvest: Of the two tables and concerning the supplying of the higher and lower 1 Lk 22.29 2 Ps 41.4