In Praise Of Friendship

In rebus humanis nihil dulcius amicitia invenitur, nihil sanctius appetitur, nihil fructuosius custoditur: habet enim fructum vitae quae nunc est et futurae. Ipsa propria suavitate virtutes alias condit, adversa temperat, prospera componit, tristiaque jucundat. Homo sine amico non habet, cui vitam et affectus suos communicet, cui conscientiae suae sinum aperiat, cui ad solatium suum aliquid de molestiis terrentibus evaporet. Solus est, qui sine amico est. Vere dicitur solus, quia si ceciderit, non habet sublevantem. E diverso quanta est jucunditas, quanta securitas, habere cum quo loquaris, ut tecum, cui cordis tui secreta committere audeas, quem in secretioribus tuis habeas ut teipsum, cui plena securitate reveles, quantum in studiis spiritualibus a teipso defeceris, aut profeceris apud Deum. Quid denique desiderabilius, aut dulcius, quam ut duorum tanta sit unio animorum, quod quum alter corripiatur ab altero, vel laudetur, nulla interveniat ira, nulla seditio, nulla inter eos formido criminis, adulationisve suspicio. Amicus, ait Sapiens, est medicamentum vitae. Optima enim medicina est homini homo, qui ejus remediatur adversis, qui ejus condescendit incommodis, qui gravia levigat, qui amici onera quasi juncto humero simul portat. Nec enim verus amicus impatientius propriam injuriam sustinet, quam amici. Verbum Philosophi est: Non aqua, non igne, non aere pluries utimur, quam amico. In omni actu, in omni studio, in rebus certis, in dubiis, in omni eventu, in secreto, in publico, in omni consultatione, domi et foris : et ut multa paucis includam, in omnibus, quae ad divina pertinent et humana, gratia se diligentium mutuo utilis invenitur. Audi Tullium: Tanta est, inquit, amicitiae virtus, quod ejus beneficio absentes amici sibi praesentes assistunt, egentes abundant, valent imbecilles, et quod mirabilius est, mortui vivunt. Demum amicitia est divitibus pro gloria, pro censu pauperibus; exulibus pro patria, imbecillibus pro virtute, pro medicina aegroto, mortuis pro vita. Et sicut idem Tullius aiebat, Solem videntur de mundo tollere, qui de vita hominum amicitiam tollunt. Amicitia, inquit idem, quaedam est vita hominum, sine qua nullum est humanae vitae solatium. Amicitia quidam gradus est hominibus ad Deum. Dilectione enim mediante homo Deo approximat, dum ex hominis amico Dei amicus efficitur. Audi Deum ad homines loquentem, quos in proximi dilectione firmaverat et dicentem : Jam non dicam vos servos, quia servus nescit, quid faciat Dominus ejus. Vos autem dixi amicos, quia omnia quaecunque audivi a Patre meo, nota feci vobis. Quas omnia, sicut plerique Sancti asserunt,in Dei proximique dilectione consistunt. Petrus Blenensis, De Amicitia Christiana, Cap. III, Quam dulcis, et quam fructuosa sit amicitia. Source: Migne PL 207.874c-875c

In human affairs nothing is found sweeter than friendship, nothing more holy is sought, nothing is more fruitfully guarded, for it is has reward for life both now and in the future. With its own sweetness it establishes other virtues, tempers adversity, moderates prosperity, gives cheer to sorrow. A man without a friend does not have one to whom he may communicate life and feelings, to whom he may open the lap of his conscience, in whom he might have comfort for dispelling his burdensome troubles. He is alone who lacks a friend. Truly it is said 'alone' because 'if he falls he has no one to lift him up.' 1 In contrast how much joy there is, how much security, to have someone to whom you may speak and with whom you may dare to commit the secrets of your heart, and with whom you may share your secrets as much as you do with yourself, and to whom you may speak in full confidence, as much of the spiritual desires which you lack as of your advance to God. What, then, is more desirable, or more sweet, or more durable than a union of souls, so that when the one is corrected by the other, or praised, no anger intervenes, nor discord, nor is there fear of any offence between them, nor is there any suspicion of flattery. 'A friend,' says Wisdom 'is the medicine of life.' 2 The best medicine for a man is a man, one who supplies remedies in adversity, who sympathises in difficulties, who eases burdens, who at the same time bears the troubles of a friend as if their shoulders were joined. For he is not a true friend who is more impatient in enduring his own injury than a friend's. The word of the Philosopher is: 'Neither water, nor fire, nor air, are so useful as friendship.' 3 In every act, every passion, in things doubtful and in things certain, in every event, in secret and in public, in every consultation, in the house and outside, and I include many things of little weight, in everything which pertains to Divine and human affairs, the grace of mutual love is found useful. Hear Cicero: 'So great is the virtue of friendship that with its help absent friends stand near and present. In poverty they are rich and in weakness strong, and what is more wonderful, they revive the dead. Finally friendship is glory for the rich, wealth for the poor, a homeland for exiles, strength for the powerless, medicine for the sick, life for the dead.' And likewise the same Cicero says: 'They seem to take the sun from the world, who take friendship from the life of men.' 'There is a certain friendship,' the same man says, 'which is the life of men, without which there is no comfort in life.' 4 Certainly friendship is a stairway from men to God. By the mediation of love a man draws near to God, when from being a friend of men he is made a friend of God. Hear God saying to men, those whom He fortified in the love of their neighbour: 'Now I shall not call you servants but friends, because a servant does not know what his Lord does. I call you friends, because everything which I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.' 5 Which everything, as most of the saints assert, consists in the love of God and neighbour. Peter of Blois, On Christian Friendship, Chapter 3, How sweet and fruitful friendship may be. 1 Eccl 4.10 2 Sirach 6.16 3 Cicero De Amicitia 22 4 Cicero De Amicitia 23, 47, 102 5 Jn 15.15