Patience and Bereavement

Ne illa quidem inpatientiae species excusatur in amissione nostrorum, ubi aliqua doloris patrocinatur adsertio. Praeponendus est enim respectus denuntiationis apostoli, qui ait: Ne contristemini dormitione cuiusquam sicut nationes quae spe carent.  Et merito: credentes enim resurrectionem Christi, in nostram quoque credimus, propter quos ille et obiit et resurrexit. Ergo cum constet de resurrectione mortuorum, uacat dolor mortis, uacat et inpatientia doloris.  Cur enim doleas, si perisse non credis? Cur inpatienter feras subductum interim quem credis reversurum? Profectio est quam putas mortem. Non est lugendus qui antecedit, sed plane desiderandus. Id quoque desiderium patientia temperandum: cur enim inmoderate feras abisse quem mox subsequeris? Ceterum inpatientia in huiusmodi et spei nostrae male ominatur et fidem praevaricatur, et Christum laedimus cum evocatos quosque ab illo quasi miserandos non aequanimiter accipimus. Cupio, inquit Apostolus, recipi iam et esse cum Domino. Quanto melius ostendit votum! Christianorum ergo votum, si alios consecutos inpatienter dolemus, ipsi consequi nolumus! Tertullianus, De Patientia Source: Migne PL 1.1263b-1264a

Not even that type of impatience on account of the loss of our own is excused, where some assertion of grief acts as patron of it. For the consideration of the Apostle's declaration must be put before us, which says, 'Be not saddened by the falling asleep of any one, like the peoples who are without hope.' 1 And rightly, for believing in the resurrection of Christ, we also believe in our own, for whose sake He both died and rose. Since, then, there is certainty concerning the resurrection of the dead, there is no room for grief for death, there is no room for the impatience of grief. For why should you grieve if you believe that he has not perished? Why should you bear impatiently for a time the withdrawal of him who you believe will return? That which you think to be death is departure. He who goes before is not to be lamented, though certainly wanted. That longing also must be tempered with patience, for why should you bear without moderation the going away of him whom you will soon follow? Besides, impatience in matters of this kind bodes ill for our hope, and fails in its duty to the faith, and we wound Christ when those called away by him we deem as ones to be pitied, not accepting it with equanimity. 'I desire,' says the Apostle, 'to be received now, and to be with the Lord.' 2 How far better a wish does he exhibit! If, then, we grieve impatiently over others who attain the wish of Christians, we ourselves are unwilling to attain it. Tertullian, On Patience 1 1 Thes 4.13 2 Philip 1.23