Ways Of Denial

Solent quaedam, cum futuram virginem spoponderint, pulla tunica eam induere, et furvo operire pallio, auferre linteamina: nihil in collo, nihil in capite auri sinere: revera bono consilio, ne habere discat in tenero, quod postea ponere compellatur. Aliis vero e contra videtur. Quid enim, aiunt, si ipsa non habuerit, habentes alias non videbit? φιλόκοσμον genus femineum est; multasque etiam insignis pudicitiae, quamvis nulli virorum, tamen sibi scimus libenter ornari. Quin potius habendo satietur; et cernat laudari alias, quae ista non habeant. Meliusque est, ut satiata contemnat, quam non habendo, habere desideret. Tale vero quid et Israelitico fecisse populo Dominum, ut cupientibus aegyptias carnes, usque ad nauseam, et vomitum praeberet examina coturnicum: multosque saeculi prius homines, facilius carere experta corporis voluptate, quam eos qui a pueritia libidinem nesciant. Ab alii enim nota calcari, ab aliis ignota appeti. Illos vitare poenitendo suavitatis insidias, quas fugerunt: hos carnis illecebras, dulci titillatione corporis blandientes dum mella putant, venena noxia reperire. Sanctus Hieronymus, Epistola CXXVIII, Ad Gaudentium Source: Migne PL 22.1096

Some mothers when they have vowed a daughter to virginity clothe her in sombre garments and cover her in a dark cloak, and do not allow her to have linen or golden ornaments for her neck or head. With wise understanding they will not have her learn in tender years what she will afterwards be compelled to set aside. To others the opposite is true. 'Why may she not have these things', they say, 'when she will see them on other women? It is of the nature of women to be 'philokosmos,' that is, lovers of finery, and we know of many of excellent chastity who adorn themselves for themselves and not for men. Let her have what she will, but let her see that they who do not need such things are praiseworthy. It is better that she scorns what she has enjoyed than having lacked such things she should have a desire for them. This is what the Lord did to the people of Israel, for when they longed for the feasts of Egypt he gave them the quails even to satiation and sickness. 1 Many men who have lived worldly lives more easily cast off the pleasures of the flesh than those who have known nothing of pleasure from their boyhood. For the former trample on what they know but the latter are drawn to what they do not know. In penitence the former shun the subtle allures which they have fled, the latter dally with the attractions of the flesh and think the alluring delights of the body to be sweet as honey, only to find them a fatal poison. Saint Jerome, from Letter 128, To Gaudentius 1 Exod 16, Numb 11