Death And Mourning

Ordiamur igitur ab eo, ut lugendum nobis nostrorum obitum non esse doceamus. Quid enim absurdius, quam ut id quod scias omnibus esse praescriptum, quasi speciale deplores? Hoc est animum supra conditionem extollere, legem non recipere communem, naturae consortium recusare, mentem carnis inflari, et carnis ipsius nescire mensuram. Quid absurdius, quam nescire qui sis, affectare quod non sis? Aut quid imprudentius, quam quod futurum scias, id cum acciderit, ferre non posse? Natura ipsa nos revocat, et ab hujuscemodi moeroribus quadam sui consolatione subducit. Quis est enim tam gravis luctus, aut tam acerbus dolor, in quo non interdum relaxetur animus? Habet hoc natura, ut quamvis homines in tristibus rebus sint; tamen si modo homines sunt, a moerore mentem paulisper abducant. Fuisse etiam quidam feruntur populi, qui ortus hominum lugerent, obitusque celebrarent. Nec imprudenter; eos enim qui in hoc vitae salum venissent, moerendos putabant: eos vero qui ex istius mundi procellis et fluctibus emersissent, non injusto gaudio prosequendos arbitrabantur. Nos quoque ipsi natales dies defunctorum obliviscimur, et eum quo obierunt diem, celebri solemnitate renovamus. Non est ergo gravis subeundus moeror secundum naturam; ne aut excellentiorem aliquam naturae exceptionem nobis arrogare videamur, aut communem recusare. Etenim mors aequalis est omnibus, indiscreta pauperibus, inexcepta divitibus. Sanctus Ambrosius Mediolanensis, De excessu fratris sui Satyri, Liber II Source: Migne PL 16.1316b-1317a

Let us then begin from this, that we teach that the death of our loved ones should not be mourned by us. For what is more absurd than to deplore what you know is appointed to all as if it were something special? This is to lift up the mind above our state, not to accept the common law, to reject association with nature, to be puffed up in a fleshly mind, and to be ignorant of the measure of the flesh. What is more absurd than not to know what one is and to pretend to be what one is not? Or what is more imprudent than to be unable to bear what one knew would happen when it has happened? Nature herself calls us back and draws us away from this kind of sorrow by a certain consolation of her own. For what mourning is so deep or grief so bitter in which at times the soul may not have relief? Nature is so, that though men may be amid grievous things, yet if they are but men, they sometimes withdraw their thoughts a little apart from grief. Indeed it is said that there were certain peoples who lamented the birth of men and celebrated their deaths. This was not without reason, for they thought that those who had entered upon this sea of life should be mourned, but judged that those who had escaped from the storms and the waves of this world should rightly be accompanied by joy. 1 We also forget the birthdays of the dead and recall with solemn celebrations the day they died. Therefore it is in accordance with nature that one should not fall to excessive grief, lest either we seem to claim for ourselves either an exceptional excellence beyond nature, or we reject what is common. For death is the same for all, without difference for the poor, without exception for the rich. Saint Ambrose, On the Death of His Brother Satyrus, from Book 2 1 cf Herodotus Hist 5.4.1-2