Driven Away By Grief

Ambrosius Faustino salutem. Acerbo te doliturum dolore obitum germanae tuae no ignorabam; non tamen ut a nobis te ablegares, sed ut nobis te redderes: nam et si minus iucunda solatia moerentibus, tamen nonnumquam necessaria sunt. Tu autem abiisti in secreta montium et inter ferarum diversaris spelaea, omni humanae conversationis usu abdicatio, et quod gravius est iudicio tuo.Tantumne de te commeruit germana tua, ut proper quam excellere apud te debuit conditio humana, quae tam egregiam feminam tulit, propter eam apud te minoris praerogativae sit? Illa certe vita excedens, hoc se mulcebat solatio, quos te sibi superstitem derelinqueret, parentem nepotibus, praesulem parvulis, auxiliatorem destitutis: tu ita te et nepotibus et nobis abnegas, ut consaltionis illius fructum non sentiamus. Illa te chara pignora vocant non ad dolendum, sed ad consolandum; ut cum te vident, matrem sibi non credant obiisse: in te eam recognoscant, in te eius praesentiam teneant, in te vitam eius sibi manere arbitrentur.Sed doles quod dudum florentissima repente occiderit. Verum hoc nobis commune non solum cum homniibus, sed etiam cum civitatibus, terrisque ipsis est. Nempe de Bononiensi veniens urbe a tergo Claternam, ipsam Bononiam, Mutinam, Rhegium derelinquebas, in dextera erat Brixillum, a fronte occurrebat Placentia, veterem nobilitatem ipso adhuc nomine sonans, ad laevem Apennini inculta miseratus, et florentissimorum quondam populorum castella considerabas, atque affectu relegebas dolenti. Tot igitur semirutarum urbium cadavera, terramque sub eodem conspectu exposita funera non te admonent unius, sanctae licet et admirabilis feminae, decessionem consolabiliorem habendam; praesertim cum illa in perpetuum prostrata ac diruta sint: haec autem ad tempus quidem erepta nobis, meliorem illic vitam exigat?Itaque non tam deplorandam, quam prosequendam orationibus reor: nec moestificandam lacrymis tuis, sed magis oblationibus animam eius Domino commendandam arbitror. Sanctus Ambrosius Mediolanensis, Epistula XXXIX, Faustino Source: Migne PL 16.1098d-1099d

Ambrose to Faustinus, greetings. That you would mourn with bitter grief the death of your sister I was not ignorant, however you should not go into exile, but rather return yourself to us, for although mourners are little inclined to receive consolation, it is sometimes necessary for them. But you have gone away to the hidden places of the mountains, and made your dwelling amid the lairs of wild beasts, abandoning all human converse and, what is worse, the use of your judgement. Is it in accordance with your admiration for your sister, that human nature, which ought to be much esteemed by you for producing a woman so honorable, should on her account be of less worth to you? Certainly in leaving this life it was a comfort to her that she left you alive, a parent to nephews, a guardian of little ones, a succour to their destitution; but you spurn your nephews and us, so we do not know the fruit of consolation. These dear pledges call on you not to grieve but to consolation, that seeing your nephews may believe their mother to be still alive. In you may they recognize her, in you may them enjoy her presence, in you may they think her life remains. But you lament that she has been lately cut off in the flower of her age. Truly this is the common fate not only of men, but of cities and countries themselves. Certainly coming from the town of Bononia you left behind you Claterna, Bononia itself, Mutina, Rhegium; on your right was Brixillum, in front of you Placentia, its very name resounding with ancient nobility, on the left the wastes of the Apennines grieved you, and considering the fortresses of once flourishing tribes, you remembered them with sorrowful affection. Do not then the carcases of so many half-ruined cities and lands stretched on their bier beneath your eyes remind you that the death of one woman, holy and excellent as she was, is much less deplorable? Certainly the former are for ever laid prostrate and destroyed, but she for a time is taken from us and is passing a more blessed life elsewhere.Thus I think that you ought not so much to lament, as to offer prayers; I judge that you should not grieve with tears but rather commend her soul to the Lord. Saint Ambrose, from Letter 39, to Faustinus