The Marriage Law Disputed

Τὸ ἐρώτημα, ὃ ἐρώτησας, τοῦτο σωφροσύνην τιμᾷν μοι δοκεῖ, καὶ ἀπόκρισιν ἀπαιτεῖν φιλάνθρωπον·  σωφροσύνην, περὶ ἣν ὁρῶ τοὺς πολλοὺς κακῶς διακειμένους, καὶ τὸν νόμον αὐτῶν ἄνισον, καὶ ἀνώ μαλον. Τί δήποτε γὰρ, τὸ μὲν θῆλυ ἐκόλασαν, τὸ δὲ ἄῤῥεν ἐπέτρεψαν;  Καὶ γυνὴ μὲν κακῶς βουλευ σαμένη περὶ κοίτην ἀνδρὸς μοιχᾶται, καὶ πικρὰ ἐντεῦθεντὰ τῶν νόμων ἐπιτίμια·  ἀνὴρ δὲ καταπορνεύων γυναικὸς, ἀνεύθυνος; Οὐ δέχομαι ταύτην τὴν νομοθεσίαν, οὐκ ἐπαινῶ τὴν συνήθειαν. Ἄνδρες ἦσαν οἱ νομοθετοῦντες, διὰ τοῦτο κατὰ γυναικῶν ἡ νομοθεσία· ἐπεὶ καὶ τοῖς πατράσιν ὑπ' ἐξουσίαν δεδώκασι τὰ τέκνα, τὸ δὲ ἀσθενέστερον, ἀθεράπευτον εἴασαν.  Θεὸς δὲ οὐχ οὕτως· ἀλλὰ, Τίμα τὸν πατέρα σου καὶ τὴν μητέρα σου, ἥτις ἐστὶν ἐντολὴ πρώτη, ἵνα εὖ σοι γένηται, ἐν ἐπαγγελίαις κειμένη.  Καὶ, Ὁ κακολογῶν πατέρα ἢ μητέρα, θανάτῳ τελευτάτω.  Ὁμοίως καὶ τὸ ἀγαθὸν ἐτίμησε, καὶ τὸ κακὸν ἐκόλασεν.  Καὶ, Εὐλογία πατρὸς στηρίζει οἴκους τέκνων·  κατάρα δὲ μητρὸς ἐκριζοῖ θεμέλια.  Ὁρᾶτε τὸ ἴσον τῆς νομοθεσίας.  Εἷς ποιητὴς ἀνδρὸς καὶ γυναικὸς, εἷς χοῦς. Εἷς ποιητὴς ἀνδρὸς καὶ γυναικὸς, εἷς χοῦς ἀμφότεροι, εἰκὼν μία, νόμος εἷς, θάνατος εἷς, ἀνάστασις μία.  Ὁμοίως ἐξ ἀνδρὸς καὶ γυναικὸς γεγόναμεν· ἐν χρέος παρὰ τῶν τέκνων τοῖς γονεῦσιν ὀφείλεται. Πῶς οὖν σὺ σωφροσύνην μὲν ἀπαιτεῖς, οὐκ ἀντεισφέρεις; πῶς, ὃ μὴ δίδως, αἰτεῖς; πῶς ὁμότιμον σῶμα ὢν, ἀνίσως νομοθετεῖς; Εἰ δὲ τὰ χείρω σκοπεῖς· ἥμαρτεν ἡ γυνὴ, τοῦτο καὶ ὁ Ἀδάμ· ἀμφοτέρους ὁ ὄφις ἠπάτησεν. Οὐ τὸ μὲν ἀσθενέστερον εὑρέθη, τὸ δὲ ἰσχυρότερον. Ἀλλὰ τὰ βελτίω λογίζῃ; ἀμφοτέρους σώζει Χριστὸς τοῖς πάθεσιν. Ὑπὲρ ἀνδρὸς σὰρξ ἐγένετο; τοῦτο καὶ ὑπὲρ γυναικός.Ὑπὲρ ἀνδρὸς ἀπέθανε; καὶ ἡ γυνὴ τῷ θανάτῳ σώζεται. Ἐκ σπέρματος Δαβὶδ ὀνομάζεται· τιμᾶσθαι ἴσως οἴει τὸν ἄνδρα; ἀλλὰ καὶ ἐκ Παρθένου γεννᾶται, τοῦτο καὶ ὑπὲρ γυναικῶν. Ἔσονται μὲν οὖν οἱ δύο, φησὶν, εἰς σάρκα μίαν· καὶ ἡ μία σὰρξ ἐχέτω τὸ ὁμότιμον. Παῦλος δὲ καὶ τῷ ὑποδείγματι τὴν σωφροσύνην νομοθετεῖ. Πῶς, καὶ τίνα τρόπον; Τὸ μυστήριον τοῦτο μέγα ἐστίν· ἐγὼ δὲ λέγω εἰς Χριστὸν καὶ εἰς τὴν Ἐκκλησίαν. Καλὸν τῇ γυναικὶ Χριστὸν αἰδεῖσθαι διὰ τοῦ ἀνδρός· καλὸν καὶ τῷ ἀνδρὶ τὴν Ἐκκλησίαν μὴ ἀτιμάζειν διὰ τῆς γυναικός. Ἡ γυνὴ, φησὶν, ἵνα φοβῆται τὸν ἄνδρα· καὶ Χριστὸν γάρ. Ἀλλὰ καὶ ὁ ἀνὴρ, ἵνα περιέπῃ τὴν γυναῖκα· καὶ γὰρ Χριστὸς τὴν Ἐκκλησίαν. Μᾶλλον δ' ἔτι καὶ προσφιλοπονήσωμεν τῷ ῥητῷ. Ἄμελγε γάλα, καὶ ἔσται βούτυρον· ἐξέταζε καὶ τυχὸν ἂν εὕροις τι ἐν αὐτῷ τροφιμώτερον. Δοκεῖ μοι γὰρ παραιτεῖσθαι τὴν διγαμίαν ἐνταῦθα ὁ λόγος. Εἰ μὲν γὰρ δύο Χριστοὶ, δύο καὶ ἄνδρες, δύο καὶ γυναῖκες· εἰ δὲ εἷς Χριστὸς, μία κεφαλὴ τῆς Ἐκκλησίας, καὶ μία σάρξ· ἡ δευτέρα δὲ ἀποπτυέσθω. Τὸ δεύτερον δὲ ἂν κωλύσῃ, τοῦ τρίτου τίς λόγος; Τὸ πρῶτον νόμος, τὸ δεύτερον συγχώρησις, τὸ τρίτον παρανομία. Ὁ δὲ ὑπὲρ τοῦτο, χοιρώδης, οἷος οὐδὲ πολλὰ ἔχων τῆς κακίας τὰ παραδείγματα. Ὁ μὲν νόμος κατὰ πᾶσαν αἰτίαν τὸ ἀποστάσιον δίδωσι· Χριστὸς δὲ οὐ κατὰ πᾶσαν αἰτίαν· ἀλλὰ συγχωρεῖ μὲν μόνον χωρίζεσθαι τῆς πόρνης, τὰ δὲ ἄλλα πάντα φιλοσοφεῖν κελεύει. Καὶ τὴν πόρνην, ὅτι νοθεύει τὸ γένος· τὰ δ' ἄλλα πάντα καρτερῶμεν καὶ φιλοσοφῶμεν· μᾶλλον δὲ καρτερεῖτε καὶ φιλοσοφεῖτε, ὅσοι τὸν τοῦ γάμου ζυγὸν ἐδέξασθε. Ἅγιος Γρηγόριος ὁ Ναζιανζηνός, Λόγος ΛΖ'

The question which you have asked seems to me to do honour to chastity and to demand a kind reply. Chastity is something to which I see the majority of men poorly disposed and their laws concerning it unequal and irregular. For why was it that they restrained the woman but indulged the man? The woman who practices evil against her husband's bed commits adultery, and the penalties of the laws for this are severe, but if the husband commits fornication against his wife, he is not held to account? I do not accept this legislation, I do not approve this custom. Men were the lawmakers and because of this their legislation is against women, since they have also placed children also under the authority of their fathers, leaving the weaker sex uncared. But God does not do this, for He says: 'Honour your father and your mother that it may be well with you,' 1 which is the first commandment with promise. And 'He who curses father or mother, let him die.' 2 In like manner He honoured good and punished evil. And, The blessing of a father strengthens the houses of children, but the curse of a mother uproots foundations. 3 Observe the equality of the legislation. There is one creator of man and woman, one the maker, one is the creator of man and woman, one is the maker of both, one the image, one the law, one the death, one the resurrection. Coming from man and woman one debt is owed by children to both parents. How then do you demand Chastity when you do not observe it? How demand what you did not give? How, though you are equally a body, do you legislate unequally? If you look to the worse: yes, the woman sinned but so did Adam. 4 The serpent deceived both. One was not found to be weaker and the other stronger. But do you think of the better? Christ saves both by His sufferings. He was made flesh for the man ? He was also for the woman. Did He die for the man? By His death the woman also is saved. He is called of the seed of David 5 and so perhaps you think the man honoured? But He is born of a Virgin, and this is for the woman. The two, He says, shall be one Flesh, so let the one flesh have equal honour. And Paul legislates for chastity by His example. How, and in what way? This sacrament is great but I speak of Christ and the Church. 6 Good it is for the wife to reverence Christ through her man: and good it is for the husband not to disgrace the Church through his woman. Let the wife, he says, have reverence her husband, for so she does Christ, but also let the husband honour his wife, for so it is with Christ and the Church. Now let us give further consideration to this saying: Churn milk and it will be butter. 7 Examine this and perhaps you may find something more nourishing in it. For it seems to me that the Word here seems to deprecate second marriage. If there are two Christs, let there be two husbands and two wives, but if Christ is One, one Head of the Church, let there be also one flesh, and let a second be rejected. And if a second is prevented what shall be said of a third? The first is law, the second indulgence, the third transgression. And anything beyond this is pig like, which does not even have many examples of its wickedness. The law grants divorce for every cause, but Christ not for every cause, but He indulges separation only from the whore and in all other things He calls to endurance. And it is so with the whore because she corrupts the children, but in everything else let us be strong and endure, or rather endure and be strong you who have received the yoke of marriage. Saint Gregory Nazianzus, Oration 9 1 Ex 20.12  2 Ex 21. 17  3 Sir 3:11   4 Gen 3:6   5 Rom 1:3  6 Eph 5:32  7 Prov 30:33