The Desire for Office

Sed plerumque hi qui subire magisterium pastorale cupiunt, nonnulla quoque bona opera animo proponunt; et quamvis hoc elationis intentione appetant, operaturos tamen se magna pertractant fitque ut aliud in imis intentio supprimat, aliud tractantis animo superficies cogitationis ostendat. Nam saepe sibi de se mens ipsa mentitur, et fingit se de bono opere amare quod non amat, de mundi autem gloria non amare quod amat: quae principari appetens, fit ad hoc pavida cum quaerit, audax cum pervenerit. Tendens enim, ne non perveniat trepidat; sed repente perveniens, iure sibi hoc debitum ad quod pervenerit putat. Cumque percepti principatus officio perfrui saeculariter coeperit, libenter obliviscitur quidquid religose cogitavit. Unde necesse est ut cum cogitatio extra usum ducitur, protinus mentis oculus ad opera transacta revocetur; ac penset quisque quid subiectus egerit, et repente cognoscit si praelatus bona agere quae proposuerit possit, quia nequaquam valet in culmine humilitatem discere, qui in imis positus non desiit superbire. Nescit laudem cum suppetit fugere, qui ad hanc didicit cum deesset anhelare. Nequaquam vincere avaritiam potest, quando ad multorum sustentationem tenditur is cui sufficere propria nec soli potuerunt. Ex anteacts ergo vita se quisque inveniat, ne in appetitu se culminis imago cogitationeis illudat. Quamvis plerumque in occupatione regiminis ipse quoque boni operis usus perditur, qui in tranquillitate tenebatur, quia quiete mari recte navem et imperitus dirigit; turbato autem tempastatis fluctibus, etiam peritus se natua confundit. Quid namque est potestas culminis, nisi tempestas mentis? In qua semper cogitationum procellis navis cordis quatitur, huc illucque incessanter impellitur, ut per repentinos excessus oris et operis quasi per obviantia saxa frangatur. Inter haec itaque quid sequendum est, quid tenendum, nisi ut virtutibus pollens coactus ad regimen veniat, virtutibus vacuus nec coactus accedat? Ille si omnino renititur, caveat ne acceptam pecuniam in sudarium ligans, de euis occultatione iudicetur. Pecuniam quippe in sudario ligare, est percepta dona sub otio lenti torporis abscondere. At contra, iste cum regimen appetit, attendat ne per exemplum pravi operis, Pharisaeorum more, ad ingressum regni tendentibus obstaculum fiat: qui iuxta Magistri vocem nec ipsi intrant nec alios intrare permittunt.  Gregorius Papa I, Regulae Pastoralis Liber, Lib. I, Cap. IX

But most often those who desire the pastoral office in their souls propose to themselves that thereby they would do much good work, and, though yearning for it for the sake of elevation alone, they still foresee these good works, so that the true motive is suppressed in the depths while the surface of thought is presented to the mind. For often the mind itself lies to itself about itself, and feigns in the matter of good work to love what it does not love, and with respect to the world's glory not to love what it does love. Keen to rule, it is timid while it seeks but audacious after entry. It fears that it should not attain a state; but suddenly on having attained, thinks what it has attained to be its just due. And, when it has once begun to enjoy the office of its acquired dominion in a worldly way, it easily forgets what it had thought in a religious way. Thus it is necessary that, when thought is extended beyond deeds, the mind's eye should be recalled to works done, and a man should ponder what he has done as a subordinate; so he may quickly be able to resolve whether as a prelate he will be able to do the good things he has proposed. No one is able to learn humility in a high place who has not ceased to be proud while occupying a low one, for he does not know how to fly from praise when it abounds, who has learned to pant for it when it was lacking. No one can conquer avarice when advanced to the sustenance of many, who his own means could not suffice for himself. From his past life let every man discover what he is, lest in his craving for elevation the phantom of his thought trick him. Indeed it is common that the occupation of office destroys the practice of good deeds maintained in tranquility; even an unskilled person can steer a ship in a calm sea, but when it is disturbed by the waves of tempest even the expert sailor is confounded. For what is the power of eminence but a tempest of the mind, in which the ship of the heart is ever shaken by storms of thought and is incessantly driven here and there so as to be shattered by sudden excesses of word and deed as if by opposing rocks? In the midst of all these things, then, what course is to be followed, what is to be held to, except that one strong in the virtues should be impelled to come to office, and that one who is void of virtues should not, even under compulsion, approach? As to the former, let him beware lest, if he does not accept, he be as one who binds up money in a cloth, and he be condemned for concealing it. For, indeed, to bind up in a cloth is to hide gifts received under the listlessness of sluggish torpor. But, on the other hand, let the latter, when he desires office, take care lest by his example of bad deeds, in the manner of the Pharisees, he become an obstacle to those journeying to the entrance of the kingdom, that he not be such a one who, according to the Master's voice, neither enter himself nor allows others to enter. Pope Saint Gregory the Great, Pastoral Rule, Book 1, Chapter 9